So, I was asked to make a Transgender 101 presentation/PDF for Three3littlebirds, would help her class. I ended up making this presentation, and I thought I’d show you fine folks what the end result turned out to be.
This is wonderful! What a great resource! Do you mind if others use it in their classrooms? I think this would be a great addition to an introduction to Women’s Studies class!
(via garberdog)
Yesterday I posted a few tweets about what is another factor amidst White feminists’ consistent groupie-like protection of White men when those White men make misogynoir-infested statements and “jokes” about Black women. Most essays on the topic have addressed the lack of intersectional thinking…
For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.
No matter how many times he did it, his parents never swooped in BEFORE the morning’s live 3-D reenactment of “Invasion of AstroMonster.” This is what they’d say repeatedly:
“You know! Boys will be boys!”
“He’s just going through a phase!”
“He’s such a boy! He LOVES destroying things!”
“Oh my god! Girls and boys are SO different!”
“He. Just. Can’t. Help himself!”
I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, “What red-blooded boy wouldn’t knock it down?”
She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.
It was so tempting.
He just couldn’t control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.
She had to keep her building safe.
Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.
His desire — for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.
Maybe she “shouldn’t have gone to preschool” at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.
I know it’s a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of don’t “get raped” and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of “don’t rape.”
Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning. How much of the boy’s behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the “rules” his parents kept repeating?
There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize. That probably wasn’t much fun for him, but he did not do it again.
There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes… but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy. You can’t make this stuff up.
Take each of these three boys and consider what he might do when he’s older, say, at college, drunk at a party, mad at an ex-girlfriend who rebuffs him and uses words that she expects will be meaningful and respecte, “No, I don’t want to. Stop. Leave.”
The “overarching attitudinal characteristic” of abusive men is entitlement.
(Source: lastlifeinuniverse, via goodconsentrules)
By: Liberate Zealot
Content Warning: Mentions of rape, street harassment, and rape threats.
Don’t mistake my projection of calmness for a lack of emotion.
I’m a woman, brought up not to rage.
Since I was 12 any anger lead to jokes about PMS,
Screaming or crying made me a “crazy bitch.”
Even calm but fervent disagreement brought reminders to respect my elders,
to not misbehave.
“Boys won’t like you if you disagree.”
“Please, don’t make a scene.”
And so I’m calm.
My voice is gentle, and I try to not let it be “too” loud.
My words are thoughtful and deliberate.
And no matter how I feel, I can smile beautifully.
I wish I remembered how to rage.
How to scream and sob in bursts of emotion that shake the walls.
When the resonance of my feet and voice vibrated through the house.
Because now I look calm when I’m stalked down the street,
And the only sign of panic is the tightness around my eyes.
And a slight waver of the voice is the only sign of revulsion,
When I was 17 and a stranger’s hand slid up my skirt.
And I appear completely calm when responding to a man,
Who said he’d like to mount my skin to the wall of this rape shack.
And my black out terror didn’t show,
When an ex-partner decided not to listen to my repeated “No”.
Fear, Anger, Disgust
Are all white knuckled beneath my calm.
And how I wish I, and other women, had not been taught to be this way.
Because we should rage.
We should rage loudly and publicly,
About the assaults and oppressions we endure all too commonly.
But still, while I rage,
It is all internally.
And while I speak passionately, I do so calmly.
But do not mistake my calmness,
For a lack of rage.
For when I appear my calmest,
There is almost nothing within me but rage.
Why is there very little utility to women’s clothing? Why don’t we get pockets which actually open? Why do we have to put up with the ‘false pockets’ that are frequently sewn onto women’s jackets and pants to give visual interest without ruining the ‘line’ of the garment? Why, when pockets are actually present, are they so rarely large, stable, or loose enough to accommodate a phone or a wallet? And why, given this is the case, do women go on to cop so much flack for carrying handbags around with them?
Oh wait. Is this one of those double standards which we feminists are always going on about; one of those innocuous little things which everybody just accepts because it is the norm?
Women carry handbags. It is known.
But why? I have watched my male friends get ready to go out. They slip their wallet into one pocket, their keys into another, their phone into a third pocket, and some of them even still have spare pockets large enough to carry a novel for the journey. Those of my friends who wear women’s clothes, though, face an entirely different situation. If they are wearing the right jeans or jacket, they may have up to two usable pockets (not at all guaranteed). However, in most cases they won’t have any pockets at all. Utility and style rarely meet in women’s fashion, so they grab a bag.
Contrary to all the jokes, most women don’t ‘have’ to leave the house with everything they pack in their day-to-day handbag. Most of the items in a woman’s everyday handbag are in there because, if she’s going to have to carry it anyway, she might as well make it worth her while. Excuse us for making use of the one useful item we find in our wardrobes.
"—
Kara, “The Feminist and the Handbag” (via athenasaurus)
Oh lord, don’t get me started on this. This is a little thing that highlights a big equality problem between men and women. We need the same supplies as men to do the same job. When I stocked shelves it was impossible to find pants that would hold my wallet, my box knife, my badge, my keys, my gloves (I worked dairy/frozen) and my phone. I actually ended up not carrying my wallet or keys at all. Fuck if I’m carrying a purse *ever* but that certainly wouldn’t have helped on the job.
My husband? He holds all of that plus his insulin, packets of honey in case his blood sugar drops (or a vial of glucose tablets), glucometer, headphones, markers, and pencils. With plenty of room to spare. I’ve even seen him slip paperback books into empty pockets.
(via solluxisms)
I remember watching I think it was Project Runway and the contestants had to design a new uniform for female postal workers. The one designer put utilitarian pockets on her design, and the judges yelled at her for it. They said something about it not being flattering, because you know, the key part of any uniform is not that it works for the job, but that it shows off your body in the best light possible.
(via jetpuffedmarshmallowsandsunburns)
(Source: blonde-cyborg, via thefistofartemis)
Increasingly, abortion has become a privilege reserved for residents of affluent states.
(Source: stfuconservatives)
A Glasgow nightclub has installed a two-way mirror which allows male revellers in private booths to spy on unsuspecting women as they visit the toilet! With no notification or signage anywhere in the venue many female club goers have been left feeling embarrassed and used. Although they do briefly show the mirrors in a promo video, the club has been quickly deleting comments and posts on their social media from club goers trying to alert others to the situation. This is pretty much illegal and hugley violates privacy. Thank you The Shimmy Club for giving us a shiny, new, creative and cool take on objectification.
article herei’m never leaving my house again, this world is just too fucked up.
WHAT!?
gross gross gross gross gross
Good morning disgusting.
Remember ladies:
- “No space, leave the place” (fingernail test)
- A two way mirror must be set INTO the wall, not placed on top of it.
- If you rap/knock against the mirror, one installed onto a wall (a normal mirror) will make a dull sound, because there’s something behind it. A two-way will have more reverberation.
- Use the flashlight on your phone to shine on the mirror, if it’s a two-way, you’ll be able to see into the other room.
- You can also shield your eyes and see in if you lean up against the glass.
- The room being viewed will have to be brightly lit (10x brighter than the room looking in), so if you’re in a typical dimly lit club bathroom, you’re ok.
boosting the fuck out of this
(via guerrillafeminism)
Stop Policing and Questioning Beyoncé’s Feminist Credentials
When white liberal feminists label Beyoncé as anti-feminist, they are simply perpetuating the same racist partiarchy they’re supposed to be combating.Beyoncé is at the center of her own media empire,…
(via garberdog)
Lady Feminists we all owe Charles Clymer of Equality for Women a big “Thank You”!
I especially like his telling women what words they can reclaim or not reclaim, almost as much as I like straight people telling me not to use the word queer.
Also he’s right, I should be exceedingly thankful for my period. After all it’s only 5 days a month (~900 days so far) of sometimes crippling pain and the hundreds of dollars of added expense for pads, tampons, pain medication, and stained underwear.
And it’s true, reminding male feminists/allies that they have male privilege is totes disrespectful.
And promoting classism and dismissiveness to women are surely the ways to do feminism right.
And If I was being sarcastic in this and actually have nothing but contempt for men like Charles Clymer, well I’m just one of those 1% feminists who has nothing better to do then foam at the mouth.
Plus I’m totally a misandrist.
-Liberate Zealot
I rang the literary editors of a few ‘respected’ papers and asked them how much space they were giving to women writers in their ‘review’ sections. Perfectly predictable response. They all said the allocation was fair. One said it was equal, and one prominent editor went so far as to say women are dominating the reviews!
… What happened when I asked who was doing the talking in mixed sex conversations? Well, it was the women of course. And then when you get to measure it you find that women get to talk about 10-20% of the time in conversations with men. A woman who talks about a third of the time is seen to be dominating the talk.
And what happened when I asked teachers who got their attention in class? Well, it was all equal, wasn’t it? No preferences there. And you measure it and find that girls get about 10-20% of the teacher’s attention. Any more, and the boys think it unfair - and go into revolt.
So what do you think I found with the reviews?
I would have predicted about 10-20% of the space went to women’s books. Well, it is less than 6% of the column inches. And the reasonable editor who thinks that women are getting more than their share is one of the worst offenders. Poor boys! It really tells you something when they think only 94% of the review section is not enough, doesn’t it? When 6% for women is too much you get some idea how much men think they are entitled to - as a fair deal.
"— Dale Spender, correspondence, in Dale and Lynne Spender, Scribbling Sisters (Camden Press, 1986), pp. 31-32 (via radtransfem)
(via rabbleprochoice)
By Violet Paradox
Today I came across this blog post written by a woman named Suzanne Venker. It lists her top ten do’s and don’ts for being a good wife. If alarm bells are ringing, they should be. This list, taken from her book - How to Choose a Husband - is truly terrible. Venker justifies her awful advice to women by claiming that she knows her tips are not politically correct but that ‘they work’. I suppose that depends upon whose happiness is being prioritised. (Hint: Its not the woman’s - surprised?) You can find the full post here.
I’ve added my own little response to each of her husband friendly tips, but I’m sure there is much more to be said, and I would love to hear other opinions. I make the note, that I too am a wife and a stay at home mother (of five). If I had to follow these tips to be a good wife, then I’m afraid, I wouldn’t be a wife at all. Luckily, I know my husband wouldn’t want his happiness to be at the expense of my own.
1. When it isn’t absolutely necessary to speak up, don’t. Silence can be golden.
Golden to whom? To your husband who is probably blissfully unaware that there is something that he has said or done to upset or anger you? Or even worse, knows he is being a jackass but you, being the good wifey that you are, won’t challenge him on his asshattery? Because a healthy and happy marriage is built on the happiness and peace of mind of only the husband? Silence is only golden at the end of the day when the kiddies are asleep and you have your feet up relaxing with the beverage of your choice. Other than that, No, silence is not golden, it’s counter-productive and detrimental to your well being.
2. Have regular sex, even if it’s just a quickie and you’re not in the mood.
This is extremely rapey advice. Having sex when you are not in the mood is never an advisable thing to do. A partner or husband who would disregard your feelings in this matter and have sex when you were not into it, is not taking the time to ensure that you are actually consenting to sex. But how would he know anyway, when Venker is advising you to stay silent and not speak up?
7. Make your husband’s family your family, particularly since you expect him to do likewise.
If extended families are the kind that generally are decent people, who are tolerable to be around, then fair enough. This isn’t always the case and no one should have to be around those who are threatening, triggering or downright dangerous. Family situations and obligations are complex and there needs to be an open communication between partners to negotiate this (oh dear, flouting tip number one again!) If your husband’s family are constantly undermining you, your husband needs to stand by you and insist that their behaviour change, and support you if you decide that you cannot be around people who do not respect you. Even if they are his family. This should work both ways.
10. Last, but definitely not least: Don’t be a bitch. Be sweet.
I’ve been about as sweet as I can be reading through this garbage. So all I have left to say in response to this one is, ‘FUCK OOOOOOFFFFFFF!!!!!1111!!!!’
I know what won’t be on my Christmas wish list this year.
zuky:
Muhammad Ali on the Vietnam War Draft
The fact that this is STILL relevant should be very telling.
Immortal words…
“If I’m gonna die, I’ll die right here fighting you … You my enemy, not the Viet Cong or Chinese or Japanese … You my opposer when I want freedom, you my opposer when I want justice, you my opposer when I want equality … You want me to go somewhere and fight, but you won’t even stand up for me here at home.”
(via thefistofartemis)
Hivemind of Feministicalidociousness!
Pull up a chair and join our queer/straight/Canadian/British/USian/Dutch/radical/ liberal/sex positive/socialist/buffet/third wave/fourth wave feminists of the Hivemind. We met through engaging in various feminist areas of Facebook and after months of battling trolls, insightful conversations, gif parties, educating ourselves and others, creating a safe space, and sharing and caring, we decided to make a blog. We love food; art; dance; bonbons and tushy rubs; cats; MST3K; knitting; science; the law; and (of course) equality.
Our blog: http://feminist-armchair-regime.blogspot.com/
